I was sitting at the reception after a long day of wedding, cake and constraining dresses. I needed to do that one thing that brings joy from a wedding--aside from the free food (can I get an amen?)--decking out the car with a bunch of "treasured" trinkets for the bride and groom.
We made a last minute dash to the store to get the necessary condiments and accessories for the evil deed involving the groom's snazzy transportation.
Shopping list?
1. Oreos--classic
2. Window Paint (We wrote Genesis 2:25 on the car as well as "build the kingdom")
3. Whipped Cream
What We Had?
1. TONS of left over cake. (shoved into door handles)
2. Endless supply of toilet paper.
3. ...More Toilet paper.
The wrecking crew split up in K-Mart to find the essentials. Somehow I found myself in the unmentionables isle only to find a stranger as company, That stranger, you ask? A K-Mart Associate. He was fashioned in an attractive red vest over his stained shirt and jeans. He was clearly in the wrong section, putting pots away with the scantily clad ensambles . The scene was comical.
He asked me what the occasion was. I told him my best friends were marrying each other. He chuckled, paused, gave me a weird look and said, "So when are you gonna get married?" I laughed a little too loudly--more like shouted a single "HA!" and came back with, "Uh, never :) or at least no time soon."
What came next? Well, I began to feel slightly uncomfortable so I awkwardly inched away from him; shoes squeaking, brow sweating, and panic rising.
Somehow I managed to slip away without another word. What an interesting conversation--only in Utah.
Well, we did the deed (later that night I'm sure they did too ;) ) and it was a masterpiece. Success!!
Summation of their wedding?
1. The most action consisted of a married associate from K-mart...ladies don't go to the one in Bountiful..and winking at little boys (no i'm not a pedophile.)
2. No I didn't catch the bouquet but the girl that did was a worthy opponent as well as a flower-catching scholar.
3. My 6'5" "little" brother that is 17 was accused of being three things: my fiancee, boyfriend, and husband; which is strange considering we look so much alike.
4. The only people in the 'line' that the guests care about are the bride and groom (makes sense) Don't try to remember all of their names.
5. Freezers are the fastest for of air conditioning when you have a car in 100 degree weather that is exempt from the privileged society of those who own cars with air so cold your nose hairs break in the middle of summer.
Am I happy for the married couple? Yes, of course. Am I looking forward to all of my other friends' weddings? I will neither confirm nor deny that prior question. However, I will say this: I am going to pull hair and break noses for the next bouquet tossing I have to endure.
Message to fellow bridesmaids in the future: I work out.
I might start following this blog. If I have the energy.
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