3 Minutes

I looked down at my phone today and it decided it was time to update the information for my LG Octane. The directions said something close to the following:

Verizon Wireless Update will start in approx. 3:00 and counting. No calls will be received and none will be dialed out including 911 calls.

My response? Well this just sucks. For the next three minutes I could possibly have a heart attack, stroke, get hit by a car, get poisoned, or any other number of violent exploits. I mean, wouldn't that be awful? Or something could happen to someone else and you only have your phone with you. Haha I can only imagine how that'd play out,

*Person drops*
"Welp, sorry but you have to wait three minutes while my phone updates....hmmm is seems to be taking longer than expected."
*Person dead*
"Crap...shoulda had a smart phone."

Or you could have a socially inept situation:

"Baby, I just want you to know...I love you..........hello? You don't agree? I'm sorry I said the L-word way too soon!!!! Babe?!"

*Silence*
Hahaha oh the possibilities--so much happens in three minutes.

Mis Suenos and Becoming a Boarderline Creeper

I have had a recent vision. What is this secret obsession you ask? Well, I keep picturing myself as someone who has collections of "things." For example, I want to start a coin collection, a pebble collection, I already have a shell collection and a mug collection...I may or may not have the desire to start a gnome collection. I never thought I would venture into the world of hoarding but here I come!! When people ask me what my plans are, what my dreams are, I explain to them that the idea of becoming an old maid with a handful of pets to keep me company as well as a library card excites me more than ever. My life would merely consist of simplicity. Does that not sound inviting? However, To those of you who are taking me serious at this moment, a word of caution: I am definitely kidding...I think.

As for children, however, I am writing this blog solely for the purpose of expressing my recent excitement in Elementary Education. I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I was teaching 1st graders and boy, not to gloat (but gloaty gloat gloat) I had 'em rollin'. They fed on every word I said. I was that teacher that every child loved; the teacher that you wanted to hug after class or stay in from recess just to talk to more. I was trying to take a nap earlier today but I kept closing my eyes thinking about the possibilities! And the craziest part about the whole thing is the stereotype behind "El. Ed." Majors that I whole-heartedly believed in proclaiming to the world until about a month ago.

Summary? I want to collect things: coins, shells, pebbles, gnomes, children. :O)

Disclaimer: I don't want to collect children but freak, I just can't wait to teach them.

Cynicism and Chick Flicks

You know, (well clearly if you don't I'm about to tell you.) there are way too many things that I find in my life ironic. As of late, circumstances have drawn me back to my blog. I find myself so critical of people in movies. For example, I watch a scary movie to bring a thrill and maybe a "sense of adventure" into my life and yet I cover my face, sweat profusely and maybe even pee my pants. However, I cover it up by getting annoyed with people who walk into dark closets or look under their bed when they hear something, only to get their faces ripped off. Why? "Oh no! There's a killer in my house...but where is he, I wanna see what he's wearing--gotta make sure it's not last season's K-mart special." Idiots.

Here's another example: chick flicks...need I say more? Well I'm going to. I feel like I want to step into the T.V and give the pathetic girls some confidence and dating advice when ironically I do the EXACT same CRAP they do! What a waste of time! Why would I torture myself through their misery only to find that I do the same things and don't even recognize it! Ha! To those of you who actually like chick flicks...invest in hearing aides and glasses--possibly a brain transplant.

And here I am in all of my glory, yet again. Cynical and bitter...in an old womany kind of way. I am young in age but wayyy to old and grumpy in spirit. Maybe that's why I have this blog? Because in my "immaturity" I use this as a venting session which brings my sophistication levels to ultimate depths.

SO. Life is often one big foo-foo pile of chick flicks and cynicism. Can I get an amen?