Thursday, March 31, 2011

My Plea for the Day

There are many ways that a person can end up in an awkward situation. While I might ramble on for a long period of time, I supposedly only have a short minute on account of the endless amount of tedium that is calling my name and pronouncing it wrong. At any rate, I wish to focus on the following. 1. making jokes about being single to a mom offering his son's availability to a crowd of people and later finding out that her son is someone you work with. 2. Telling someone that you can't stand another over a text and sending it to the latter. 3.Making a habit of gleeking all over the individual you wish to converse with...particularly the opposite sex. 4. Talking to an attractive member of the opposite sex, looking in their direction while walking and running into the door frame or a pole. 5. Laughing while running with a track buddy, tripping over the supposedly non-existant goal post and ending up face down on the asphalt, skidding ten feet. 6. Not knowing someones name (or in my case...knowing their name and EVERYTHING else resulting to potential stalker status). 7. Running excitedly up to someone from behind and realize they aren't who you thought they were--in which case, I suggest you introduce yourself? Get to know them? 8. Jumping into a conversation when you feel it's appropriate only to find out they were talking about something completely different. Ex: their dead uncle Fred. 9. Attempting to shave, slipping, rolling out of the shower and go to the emergency room because you broke your elbow in a way opposite of hardcore. 10. Losing your phone in the "double flushing" toilet, putting your hand down to get it, getting your hand stuck, yelling for your roommates who find you with your pants down, entire arm dripping, angry at water, and stepping over their bodies dying from laughter.

I may or may not have experience with the prior list. That said, I wish to close, wishing you all of the best. Please, from the deepest depths of my soul, avoid these at all cost for fear of being socially rejected and intelligently roasted.

That is all

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Life's Essentials

The following is a list of essentials for the average college student or average any age person for that matter:

(caution: these are in no particular order but it is extremely advised that you find your own order of importance as soon as possible. Also, no animals were tested for the proceeding experiments)

1.Pillow talk--although many people haven't had the privilege of experiencing this phenomenon, I advise you to as quickly as possible. And for you curious individuals, no, i am not at liberty to discuss what goes down in these conversations.

2. Social interaction with the infamous, well, me. Anyone that's a friend with myself is bound to be successful in life.

3. Endless amounts of movie quoting--need I say more?

4. Scrubs--cozy and possibly magnetically draws a person of the opposite sex to one who wears them.

5. Falling asleep in class--and when i say falling asleep, i mean drool, text on your face when you wake up, snoring, laughing, you name it but an entirely deep sleep.

6. Wallace and Gromit and Cheese--nuff said

7. A personal latino singer--only for waking you up in the morning with sweet melodies of romance.

8. loads of references to Ferris Buellers day off.

9. A mini pocket book-- for jotting down anything that seems unusual or even bizarre. This comes in handy years down the road. :) believe me.

10. A small hand shovel--i don't know why

11. Classic movies are awesome and essential, alas, they found their way onto this list.

12. Teleportation--please invent this one for me.

13. Sweet and salty flavored anything--vital for many emergencies.

14. Feather pillows--block out all sound and may come in handy when approached with a wimpy cotton one attempting to attack in a moments notice

15. A hero--if I am a candidate for this rank please fill out the attached application and i'll review it as soon as possible.

16. a best friend, specifically a lumberjack--he will feed you all the pancakes you need.

17. Every possible pick up line--even if they are cheesy, know that someone appreciates them. (hint: for me, cheesier the better. ex: if you were the new sandwich at McDonalds, you would be McGorgeous.)

18. On a consistent and regular basis use the phrase, "Livin the dream." and all your dreams will come true. In addition to this, you will have no friends. The choice is yours. The same goes for the word, "Legit."

Well my fellow compadres, if you actually read to the end of this list, you will have many successes and please don't read the fine print at the bottom that states that the prior statement was a fallacy.

Till we meet again,

Justine

P.S. Ninja Turtle references are always acceptable--at dinner parties, weddings, funerals, you name it. That is all.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Compliments

You know what's sad? It's sad that no matter how much someone compliments you it isn't true unless you believe it too. Some may find you intelligent, gorgeous, and all-out awesome but if you refuse to see it, the compliment automatically become insincere or biased. That's why I'm writing about it. I find it so important to believe in yourselves.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said,
"It is extremely important for you to believe in yourselves,
not only for what you are now, but what you have the
power to become."

Elder Jeffery R. Holland,
"Got doesn't care nearly as much about
where you have been as He does about where
you are and, with His help, where you are
willing to go."

I could go on forever...there are so many quotes and scriptures encouraging us to be OKAY with ourselves. It's not about our looks or our brains. It's about the kindness in our hearts, the intentions of our minds, and the callous of service on our fingertips.

I hope you all keep that in your mind. Know that you were born to be the very best: no matter the size; no matter the shape; disregarding any pitiful cry of society telling you that you aren't enough. So believe in yourselves a little because frankly, you are much, much more.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Product of Mexico

I found a rubber-band today. It is now fashioned on my wrist. The words on it say, "Produce of Mexico." And it got me thinking: Why not?! I lived in New Mexico for a major part of my life so therefore it automatically makes me a fruit from the "Land of Enchantment." I'm happy, therefore, it will now have a home on my wrist.

On a different note I went on a run earlier today and kept looking around for evidence or remains of human skeletons. Why, you ask? Well, I have been watching Bones lately and have decided to stick with my original idea of becoming a forensic scientist. Sure, I run the risk of investigating gruesome crime scenes but to be able to use my degree to prove someone innocent or guilty!? It doesn't get any better than that!! So what if i read my genetics book for fun? So what if I purposely look up movies that deal with scientific data and more specifically anything that involves DNA? I'm a NERD. Man, that feels really good to say. There's a first step for everything people! First blue rubber-band next PCR Processing!

...I have to choose something to do with my Biology degree eventually right??? haha...HA!


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Bloggers or is it Boogers?

So apparently I've been a "blogger" since June of last year..and this is my first "blog." Why you would name a fragment of text a blog concerns me. The first thing I think of is a booger or something that weighs you down...either way, they are both something I would rather not encounter. At any rate, I think this will be good therapy because, let's be honest, most people who blog either have no friends, no life, or have some seriously psychological issues. I find myself in the third category more often than not so here I am. Maybe this will waste my time in a healthier way compared to it's competitor Facebook--you be the judge. Unlike most bloggers I will most likely refrain from any form of Reader's Digest. I will, however, let you into the many--or few--facets of my thoughts. Hope you enjoy!! :) Peace and blessings

If this sounds cynical..it's almost one o'clock in the morning--a time when true sarcasm is the only sense of humor I have. :D Don't hate, appreciate!