Life's Essentials

The following is a list of essentials for the average college student or average any age person for that matter:

(caution: these are in no particular order but it is extremely advised that you find your own order of importance as soon as possible. Also, no animals were tested for the proceeding experiments)

1.Pillow talk--although many people haven't had the privilege of experiencing this phenomenon, I advise you to as quickly as possible. And for you curious individuals, no, i am not at liberty to discuss what goes down in these conversations.

2. Social interaction with the infamous, well, me. Anyone that's a friend with myself is bound to be successful in life.

3. Endless amounts of movie quoting--need I say more?

4. Scrubs--cozy and possibly magnetically draws a person of the opposite sex to one who wears them.

5. Falling asleep in class--and when i say falling asleep, i mean drool, text on your face when you wake up, snoring, laughing, you name it but an entirely deep sleep.

6. Wallace and Gromit and Cheese--nuff said

7. A personal latino singer--only for waking you up in the morning with sweet melodies of romance.

8. loads of references to Ferris Buellers day off.

9. A mini pocket book-- for jotting down anything that seems unusual or even bizarre. This comes in handy years down the road. :) believe me.

10. A small hand shovel--i don't know why

11. Classic movies are awesome and essential, alas, they found their way onto this list.

12. Teleportation--please invent this one for me.

13. Sweet and salty flavored anything--vital for many emergencies.

14. Feather pillows--block out all sound and may come in handy when approached with a wimpy cotton one attempting to attack in a moments notice

15. A hero--if I am a candidate for this rank please fill out the attached application and i'll review it as soon as possible.

16. a best friend, specifically a lumberjack--he will feed you all the pancakes you need.

17. Every possible pick up line--even if they are cheesy, know that someone appreciates them. (hint: for me, cheesier the better. ex: if you were the new sandwich at McDonalds, you would be McGorgeous.)

18. On a consistent and regular basis use the phrase, "Livin the dream." and all your dreams will come true. In addition to this, you will have no friends. The choice is yours. The same goes for the word, "Legit."

Well my fellow compadres, if you actually read to the end of this list, you will have many successes and please don't read the fine print at the bottom that states that the prior statement was a fallacy.

Till we meet again,

Justine

P.S. Ninja Turtle references are always acceptable--at dinner parties, weddings, funerals, you name it. That is all.